Travel

Google Maps. It’s a trust thing.

There is no denying it. Online maps such as Google have totally changed the way we travel. Be it on foot, rickshaw or in a motorhome, billions of people rely on it every day. Typing your destination into the Google Maps search bar has become just as much a part of travel routine as putting on your seat belt, or grabbing your keys. It’s hard to believe that it did not exist before 2005.

Some would say we have forgotten how to get from A to B without it.

There was this time in Launceston Tasmania that google maps took Kelly and I down a narrow street in our large hired motorhome. 

“Do not go down there!” Kelly warned. 

“Turn left in 100 metres” Google reassured.

“No!” Kelly snapped. “Do NOT turn here!”

I had to make an instant decision between Kelly’s better judgement or the combined wisdom of billions of dollars of computational power and cutting edge global positioning technology. 

Kelly sounded angry. Google sounded sexy. 

I opted for seduction.

The punishment was swift and decisive.
A 273 point turn at the end of a dead-end cul-de-sac replete with concrete bollard encrustations, low hanging tree branches, and potential panel denting impacts into a variety of very expensive parked cars … a long tedious nerve-racking process.  

And of course, there was just a little bit of:
“I told you so” and “why don’t you ever listen to me Ian?” …to help pass the time.

To make matters worse, not 5 minutes after I had extracted us from this situational clusterfuck and I let Google Maps take us up what might just be the steepest section of paved road on the planet. We only just made it to the top without tipping cab over caboose… flip flopping in a trail of destruction all the way back down.

Pedal to the floor, engine screaming in exasperation, white knuckled hands gripping steering wheel. All the while Google Maps counting down the metres to the next turn with a calm, silky foreplay.

Kelly was silent, although I do seem to recall something or other along the lines of “….you must be kidding me” during the approach.

These days I have learned my lesson. I rely a little less on GPS and a little more on IRL (In Real Life). I try to listen to the directions from my co-pilot and I always defer to their judgement in overruling the siren call of Google Maps.

This strategy may or may not increase the efficiency of your journey, but I guarantee it will increase the likelihood of any romance at the destination.

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