Juno has a perfectly comfortable dog bed to nap in. But what he prefers to do is to hang out under our clotheshorse. Literally.

And if he can reach up and nab a couple of foolishly hung soggy socks to chew on…all the better.

I tell him not to nap there. ”NO Juno” and ”OFF! Buddy boy”. I command him not to chew my socks. But he simply looks up at me and plays the cute card….

See what I have to deal with?

Other useful commands to teach your dog are ‘stay,’ ‘heel,’ ‘remove your snout from that person’s groin,’ ‘stop humping the Barcalounger,’ ‘do not bark violently for two hours at inanimate objects such as a flowerpot,’ ‘ do not eat poop,’ and ‘if you must eat poop, then at least refrain from licking my face afterward’.

Dave Barry, I’ll Mature When I’m Dead: Dave Barry’s Amazing Tales of Adulthood