In order to see the intertwined nature of life, you have to incline your mind toward living from the principle of interconnection.Smith, Rodney. Touching the Infinite (pp. 175-176). Shambhala.
That means self-centered demands need to be examined; opinions questioned; aversive responses countered; egoic images investigated; and mental projections reinterpreted.
Start slowly and first get a sense of how distant your mind is from true interconnection.
Most of your difficulties arise from facing in the direction of self-preservation: me first and others second.
Since an interconnected life denies nothing, one way to nurture this view is to refuse to look away when a difficulty arises. Simply turn toward the aversion rather than away.