Today is the day to decorate our Xmas tree. Actually I thought it was the day to slob on the couch, drink coffee eat nachos and watch Netflix.
Apparently I was wrong.

(Kelly helpfully added the correct date for that on my iPhone calendar.
4th DECEMBER TWENTY-TWENTY-NEVER. Ive set the alarm so I wont forget.)

We don’t do a lot of Christmas decorations, but we do erect a tree.
After pulling it down from its dusty, sketchy hibernation spot in the garage roof (gosh it only seems like yesterday I put it up there), it was time to untangle the fairy lights and unpack the tree ornaments.

Then we commenced the traditional er….enthusiasic discussions over decoration choice, overall colour theme, size, proportions and placement of all those Xmas hangy things we have collected or been given over the years. My lack of artistic acumen in this department is monothithic.

“What do you mean you think this big blue ball looks good hanging next to this small frosty green ball?!? Ye Gods Ian. Are you even normal?”

Dont even get me started on the tinsel vs no tinsel debate.

I quickly decided my role would be best served as music DJ. The importance of correct sound track selection when erecting your Xmas tree cannot be underestimated. IMHO.

After subjecting us to 20 minutes of Micheal Buble singing his Christmas favourites, I felt satisfactorily festive in that shmaltzy, syrupy, pre-migraine Buble way… and switched out to some Chilli Peppers live.
Volume way up….now we can decorate!

“Whoa! Hold on there just one second buddy”.
I stopped dancing and got down off the couch.
Whenever Kelly calls me buddy, I know I am in trouble.
“I want to listen to some CHRISTMASSY music.”

I made it so.
Mariah Carey, Bing Crosby, Celine Dion, Norah Jones, Elvis Presley. The full catastrophe.

Then, just as Kelly was immersed in the classics….I sneakily transitioned through some Paul Kelly, then Jimmy Barnes singing Christmas carols. Once she had acclimatised to that and was distracted by the unsymmetrical spread of twinkle lights…. I fed some Oils, and Peppers back into the mix.

Yup. Chistmas DJ is an underappreciated art.
The Chili Peppers are belting out that festive classic ‘Suck my Kiss’ and I am feeling the Xmas vibe.
If you need me I will be dancing on the couch.

And after Kelly reads this, probably sleeping on it too.