The size of a dog has no relationship to the space it will occupy in your heart.
But it has a direct linear relationship to the size of the poop that will occupy your scoop*.

* As all dog owners know ‘scoop’ is not a utensil. Scoop is the process of placing a doggie bag of sketchy integrity over one’s hand and then picking up the warm steaming excreta, whilst holding one’s breath, quickly knot-sealing the bag with one hand as the dog is pulling you towards that tree, then realising you have missed a chunk, and that was your last bag.
Some dog owners think that ‘scoop’ is the act of glancing around and walking on as if nothing just happened. In Australia, they are known colloquially as ‘knob-heads’.


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