Its all about the avo.

Location: expeditions.cube.singled
Walbanga Country
Weather: Sunny. 17C.

Yesterday Kelly and I went on a spontaneous road trip out to Braidwood.
For lunch, I had the best avocado on toast I have ever tasted. Mint tahini sauce, sesame seeds and smoked almonds (see top pic).
As is often the case with a spontaneous road trip… was the best day.

The way of the avo.

There are exactly twenty-three safe, humane and evidence-based ways to get the stone out of an avocado.
My way is the combined antithesis of all these ways.
And the way most men do it I think.

I begin by holding the avocado in one hand. Much as I would cradle a baby green armadillo.
Next, I slice into it with a particularly sharp knife. From head to tail.
Working away around a longitudinal line I cut down to the stone.
Slice, turn. Slice, turn. Slice turn.

I place the knife on the chooping board close by (You just know I’m going to need it in a moment).
The fun bit is to grasp the two halves, press slightly, and turn them against each other.

The avocado unscrews into two pieces. One half containing the stone and the other its negative space.

Now its down to business.
Cupping the stone avocado-half in my left hand, I pick up the knife, raise it high into the air, and with the blood curdling scream of a Shogun warrior in battle, slice downwards.

The measure of a true Shogun Avo warrior is to cut exactly half way into the stone. No more. No less.

With a flourishing twist, the stone comes away.
Impaled on the knife.
And in the same movement, I swing across and whack the distal edge of the knife onto the chopping board. This abrupt stopping dislodges the stone. Leaving it sitting on the wooden board. Dead centre. Ready for the bin.

During my long career as an emergency department nurse, I remember treating quite a few people for avo injuries. There is a spectrum of trauma, from minor lacerations, cut tendons, tissue avulsions and stab wounds….up to various severed bits of anatomy. There are 23 ways for this not to happen.

No matter….this is the Shogun way.

2 responses to “Its all about the avo.”

  1. Yes, but can you tell when/ how an avo is ripe?
    The guy working in the fruit and veg shop recently complimented my mother when he saw her pressing gently where the stork had been and commented, she was the first person he had ever seen assessing an avo’s ripeness in the correct way!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And we wonder why women live longer than men.

    Liked by 1 person

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